I met a girl recently, well, I’ve seen her around but I’ve never really made an effort to get to know her very well, so about a couple of months ago I decided that I should really make the effort to say hello and get to know her. I felt bad because she’s always around, but I’ve never really acknowledged her and I don’t know why I haven’t, I guess I’ve been too busy with work, study, life, my friends and other people to notice her sitting there, quietly in her own world.
Anyway, I built up the courage to say hello to her and not feel guilty or ashamed that it’s taken me so long to approach her and befriend her. Surprisingly, when I said hello to her and tried to introduce myself, she smiled back and said she knows who I am. She knew my name and what I do but what struck me is that she had also noticed my busy mind and rushed attitude; still, she was very nice and welcoming. So, I asked her if it’s ok for us to spend some together and get to know each other, to which she got excited about and said “of course! I’ve been waiting for you to say hello and really excited to get to know you”. Now that’s not a normal reaction, it made me weary and left me confused as to why she is so enthusiastic, keen, kind and loving towards me. At the same time, I was also intrigued by how she made me feel like I was truly seen by her, which was an unusual feeling.
So we started talking, sometimes in the morning as soon as we got up, sometimes throughout the day, sometimes at night right before bed and somedays not at all; being busy I didn’t always have the time to respond to her messages.
But gradually we started forming a friendship and I started learning alot about her and from her. I let down my guard and made an effort to be kind to her and accept her for who she is. I was surprised at everything she had to say, she was so raw, honest and real that it was confronting and difficult at times. But at the same time she was so beautiful, her presence was full of kindness and love, making me curious to get to know her more. I was mostly amazed by how she was who she was despite all the struggles in her life. She spoke about her insecurities, her pain, her loss, her fears; she spoke about loneliness and missing her loved ones. She spoke of her worries about the future and constant rumination of the past; she spoke about all these as though it wasn’t really her first hand experience, like she was an observer of all the events in her life. Like as though she understood the reasons behind all the events and had the wisdom to accept them for the lessons they were bringing her way. She was clear about how ultimately nothing could be a greater source of energy than love and that the kinder she was, the more resilience she built.
It’s been a few months since I’ve known her and through this time I have come to realise she’s incredibly smart, passionate, kind, caring, loyal, understanding, accepting, friendly and everso wise. I learn so much from her every day that I wish, I had made the effort to say hello to her sooner. That I would’ve taken the time out to notice her presence, her radiant energy, her love and kindness.
I was beating myself up over the disappointment I felt over my lack of effort and she hugged me tight and let me know that the only thing that matters is that after all these years I’ve come back to her and I have made the effort to get to know her now. You see, this girl I am talking about isn’t someone else, this girl is my soul, my spirit who has been there with me my entire life, quietly and patiently waiting for me to turn to her and to see her truth, her beauty and her love.
I realised that my soul, my inner voice, my source of love is my best friend, my source of comfort, love and wisdom. That despite my lack of interest in her she has always been in love with me and waiting for me to return to her.
I speak of her this way so that you too can perhaps see your inner self and best friend; your true self who has been sitting there patiently waiting for you to love yourself. To be kind to yourself, to be gentle towards yourself throughout the good and the bad times. Within you lies your soul in which can’t be defined by words and can’t be seen by others; only you can acknowledge her/him and feel the unconditional love it has to give to you.
Each of us has a soul that is full of love, joy and kindness, yet most of us neglect to spend time feeling it’s presence. We all go through life seeking love, acceptance, kindness and direction from our loved ones and those around us. Sometimes we are left heartbroken, disappointed and or lonely as a result of our dependence on another. But really, we are never alone, we are just too busy to notice that all we need to do is be still enough to feel our soul. This is what self-love is about, meeting yourself and understanding that you are more than just your thoughts and body, you are a mircale being, a life source, the source of love, beauty and kindness; you are unique and wonderful and that you are all that you are seeking and all that can bring you happiness.
The journey towards self-love may be unnatural and or foreign to so many but that’s ok. Just as though it would take you time to build a happy and meaningful relationship with another person, it will take you time to really feel your inner presence and start building a loving and gentle relationship with yourself.
Remember, you will go through many levels of evolution throughout your life; this path is no exception. You will have hiccups, disagreements and sometimes some really tough realisations within and about yourself. But eventually you will feel the real essence of love, you will find calm and peace in the stillness that is you. You will understand yourself and your life in ways you never knew you could. Most importantly you will be kinder and gentler with yourself because you would never want to hurt yourself again through the unkind thoughts, beliefs and fears you hold within you.
If you’re struggling to feel your inner presence then explore different ways in which you can get to know yourself better. We each have our own way of connecting with ourselves and others; there is no right or wrong, there is only two key ingredients: patience and stillness. Don’t be ashamed if at first you need help and guidance from others to get to meet your true self, be kind to yourself on this journey.
What works for me is taking the time to sit in a quiet place, clear my thoughts and take in the stillness. From time to time I also pause to really look at myself in the mirror, I make direct and strong eyecontact. I look to see the soul in which resides in my body; the best friend that is always there to remind me that everything will be ok because she has my back and that adversity is life teaching me to stay true to my eternal being; which is love.
As alien, confronting, odd and or crazy as this all sounds, make the effort for yourself. See what journey you go on, what you discover on this path. What you feel and how your soul can give you the guidance you need. One small step at a time, a gentle smile, an act of kindness or sense of gratitude you can extend to yourself; slowly, getting your soul to come to the surface and for you to finally meet.
Love Always,
Miss Dreamer
Souloom™ 