Decisions

Yesterday I made yet another difficult and somewhat heartbreaking decision. I decided to not pursue my studies in Psychology this year. I know to some this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I am truly, madly, deeply in love with Psychology and turning my back on my honours degree was a very hard decision to make. Life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to or plan it to, but I learned a few valuable lessons yesterday. Here is a recount:

1) Sometimes you have to break your own heart and walk away from your dreams and goals, in order to be still and truly take care of yourself and spirit. Don’t dismiss the importance of taking care of yourself. 

2) It’s ok to change your mind in life, doing so gives you courage. When we are passionate about something or someone, we want it/them no matter what. But sometimes, what we want or who we love isn’t the best thing for us. If the timing isn’t right, then things won’t work out. I had to accept that the timing was not going to work this year; key word being ‘this year’. When making the decision I felt like I was making a definitive decision, a forever decision. But I had to remind myself that just because something doesn’t feel right now, doesn’t mean it will never feel right. 

3) Hitting goals, following dreams and ticking off your list of achievements in life are usually good things. But, we forget that pausing and being still once in a while is just as important and necessary. Sometimes we need to stop and unpack the heavy baggage that we have been carrying around with us. Open it up and go through all its content, throwing away all the clutter that is preventing us from filling our suitcase with all the beautiful things we want to collect on the way. This is tough work, no one likes facing their baggage or pain. No one likes opening old wounds and examining them to make sure they are truly healed. But this is all necessary for us to flourish and grow. 

4) The more hard choices you make, the more resilience you gain. Heartbreak doesn’t hurt as much as it did the first time, fear loses it’s grip on you, pain isn’t as stubborn with you and life, well life teaches you that you are stronger, braver and brighter than you realise. Trust yourself, you will get through the adversity and when you do, you will understand that the only one who doubted you was yourself! 

5) There is no such thing as right or wrong. The decisions we make shape our lives but to think that one decision is right and the other is wrong, is a pressure we place on ourselves. There are poor decisions, fruitful decisions, smart decisions, spontaneous decisions, easy decisions and hard decisions, but there is no right or wrong. Just different decisions. Come to terms with this and you will face fear in the eyes and show it who is boss. You will gain a sense of freedom that will ease away the pressures.

6) You can talk to as many people as you want and think through the various scenarios that could potentially come about a particular situation, but ultimately deep down within you, you know what to do. Be still enough to hear that intuition guiding you, be kind enough towards yourself to listen to what it has to say, be wise enough to know that you may not agree with its guidance and be patient enough to allow time to show you why things have to be the way they are.

7) Be your own support. It’s great having family and friends who care for you and support your decisions, but at the end of the day you are living with the decisions you make. So make sure you are your own support. That you back yourself and you know that you can trust your own judgement. 

8) It’s ok to be upset about the hard decisions, it’s ok if your feelings don’t align with your logic. The brain has a way of providing reason and logic for everything it does and sometimes the heart doesn’t agree with the decision that has been made. So if you make a decision based on logic and your heart is hurt and saddened by this decision, don’t dismiss it. Don’t pretend it doesn’t hurt or that you’re not upset. Acknowledge it for what it is, provide care and love towards yourself and nurture your heart. 

9) People will tell you it will all be ok and it will all be ok, eventually. But until it is, don’t feel like you have to rush into the ok state. Be still in the not OK stage and take your time to deal with your feelings. 

10) There is always a positive to a negative and a pro to a con. When you make difficult decisions try and focus on the pros and on the positives that bring you joy. Give yourself the opportunity to smile and to appreciate the good things. Focusing on the loss and on the cons has never helped anyone, it just builds regret and disappointment. Don’t punish yourself for your decisions, love yourself and always celebrate the opportunities gained, regardless of how big or small they are.

Love yourself, love others.

Love Always.

Miss Dreamer