A friend of mine gave me a beautiful gift last night, a meditation link on being your authentic self.
I listened to it this morning and it brought up so many wonderful and necessary emotions, thoughts and beliefs; it also allowed me to forgive someone who I blamed for causing me pain, self-doubt and stress.
Showing up in the world as our true, authentic self isn’t an easy thing to do – in particular if we are surrounded by a tribe of people who’s authentic self is from a different source of energy to us. Everyone has something beautiful and unique to offer but not all of us can understand and appreciate these gifts for what they truly are and so that’s where a lot of people tend to divide themselves from others.
Sometimes this division results in hiding our true authentic self so that we don’t get hurt, judged or embarrassed. But this doesn’t serve us well because we are denying ourselves from our own truth, beauty and potential.
I’m going to park the topic of authenticity for now and talk to a realisation I had during meditation which reminded me of how engrained change is in our day to day lives and yet how much we fear it.
During meditation the topic of how we are our unique selves and the only ones that will get to experience life as we do in all of history came up, as part of this he mentioned that each day we are a new person. This made me realise how true that is, everyday we are literally a new person; but we have this illusion that we are the same because we carry around memories and experiences that our physical selves have gone through. But how can we be the same person when each day we experience new things, new interactions, emotions, outcomes, news and learnings? With each moment we alter and change and we can never stay constant because we are forever changing. Of course this change isn’t always drastic enough for is to notice. Think of it like getting a haircut and only trimming off the ends. The length doesn’t change visibly, but it’s not the same as it was before the trim.
For some these small changes aren’t significant enough to acknowledge and I never really paid attention to it either. But now I realise that everyday I wake up to a new version of me that I haven’t met before and some days she can be amazing, strong, happy, fulfilled and others she can be weak, fearful, sad or lost. Somedays she can be a combination of both and somedays she could just be busy, busy, busy!
But everyday there is a new me to say hello to and to go to bed with; a version that may never come to the surface again because the same exact moments will never be repeated. What an exciting thought and yet a taken for granted opportunity.
Most people resist change and god knows that whilst I am open to change logically, subconsciously I am terrified of it. I like my comfort-zone, stability and control. But I know that growth doesn’t happen under those set of conditions and so I try to push myself into a state of discomfort and fear.
I would encourage us all to feel more comfortable with discomfort, fear and pain; without doing so we don’t get to experience life to the fullest.
This morning I’ve woken up to meet an emotional version of myself who has undergone some major changes and news this week and is feeling unfocused, worried, in thought and a tad dramatic. My best friend / little cousin has moved out, I’ve applied for my visa for the move to the UK (this sh*t is getting real), my dear friend and love is going through yet another difficult stage of adversity with concerns around his health and I’m starting German language classes tonight (yay and nay all at once!).
Breath. Digest it. Carry on exploring the versions of myself that I will get to meet!
We all go through daily struggles, challenges and change. We have so much more in common than we don’t and yet we hide ourselves from each other worried that who we are won’t be loved.
The only thing that matters is that we love ourselves and for some of us that can be a rollercoaster ride in itself. But that’s ok, because we are learning, growing, experiencing. We have off days and good days.
Everyones doing the best they can with what they have. So remember to be kind to yourself, love yourself and be compassionate when you don’t show up the way you like. You’ll get more chances to be your authentic self, so take these opportunities whenever you can.
Love Always,
Miss Dreamer
Souloom™ 