What a world we currently live in, the world as we knew it with all it’s constructs, rules, limitations and illusions is being shifted and challenged in ways which we could have never anticipated. There is a lot that can be said about current circumstance, with the disruption and the awakening that coronavirus is causing around the world. There is also a lot of pain, grief, loss, fear, anxiety and frustration that will arise no doubt. We all have had no choice but to press pause on our lives, plans, dreams and way of living. This virus has also managed to show us how frail our economic system is and how flawed the design of our societies are. What’s more, it’s unveiled the lies that has been told to us by politicians around the world, with regard to how possible quick impact change is, clearly where there is a will there is a way, there just hasn’t been a will before.
These are all incredibly heavy topics that we can discuss, but I don’t want to talk about heavy topics, the rights and the wrongs. I think we have plenty of information, discussion and debate going on in the world and none of that serves our personal well being and or our internal healing. There are so many people right now that have been impacted in immeasurable ways and there will be so many more who will go through significant loss and adversity. There is no denying how difficult the circumstance has gotten, particularly for those of us who have lost access to the basic necessities, those who have lost a loved one and those who are fighting for their lives, be it due to the virus or all other health issues that don’t suddenly go away while we cope with this.
I myself have a lot of personal traumas, challenges and pain to deal with that all began before all this unfolded. Corona virus and the stresses that come with it is only an additional layer of complexity to what was already an incredibly difficult part of my life. In the midst of all this, I realised that I can crumble under the weight of all this pain, challenge and loss or I can learn to lift heavier weights, slowly but surely getting to a point where I can get back up again. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel the pain and or the challenge, it just means I allow myself to feel it and then work towards picking myself up just a little. It’s not about self improvement and or being better, it’s about healthy adaptation. Right now, I’m just giving myself permission to just be, without expecting anything more. Some days it’s easier than others but the only way it can be made possible is through taking baby steps towards healthy habits that enable me to get a little bit better with managing it all.
For me personally this is incorporating habits such as prayer, journaling, meditation and yoga into my daily routine. This routine isn’t structured and or anywhere near perfect, it’s not even consistent, but it’s a step that I can take and that’s all I need to do for me right now. Like for example, yoga is something that I enjoy but due to my lack of activity since last year with all the health issues that have unfolded in my life and the unemployment that has made me home bound, I’ve had very limited movement. So, doing yoga at the moment only reminds me of how stiff my neck has gotten and how much I’ve regressed in my flexibility, balance and general fitness (not that I was ever that fit to begin with, but this is even low for my standards!). But none of this matters, it doesn’t matter how I compare to the past or to the potential of the future. It doesn’t matter that I do well or not, all that matters is that I try my best in the moment and be kind to myself in the process by parking any judgemental narratives that will only make me feel worse about myself. I did 10 minutes of yoga, taking it slowly and doing what I could and at the end of it I felt a little better because 10 minutes is better than 0 minutes, and an attempt is better than not giving yourself a chance at all. This is all enough.
During these testing times my anxiety is also something that I am trying to manage as best as possible. Like I said, I have a lot of other personal challenges that I am combating, so I am feeling exhausted mentally, but anxiety lives in the future or in the past and so the best gift I’ve been able to give myself is that of a deep breath. Easily accessible for everyone and deeply effective; no pun intended.
I’ve been doing a bit of reflection around myself, my life and my circumstance and the more I sit in stillness, the less I try to resist the discomfort and realise instead that these are all moments of my life and even though they’re not how I pictured them to be, or what I want them to be, they’re still moments of my life! I have wasted so many countless moments in the past worrying about so many things, so it just hit me, repeating the same old pattern is not going to change the outcome or make my life richer in any way, it will only make me more bitter at myself for not letting go of things I couldn’t control and being in the moment instead. So, my daily attempt is to observe these thoughts, understand their roots, listen and then kindly put them to sleep so that I can be here in the now.
Everyone sets expectations for themselves and those around them, but these expectations are not going to help you get through this any more smoothly. Just put down all the expectations, let go of resistance and experience your moments as best as you can. This virus has forced a compulsory pause to our lives on so many levels, it has given us the opportunity to face so many of our wounds – should we wish to do so. During these difficult times just remind yourself that hope is not an illusion, it’s a catalyst.
Hope is not an illusion, it’s a catalyst.
Hope is what will ignite the spark in you to change your narratives and to get through these testing and difficult times with as much strength that you can muster. This will all pass, it may not be today or tomorrow, but eventually we will go back to a more familiar way of living. Let’s just hope, that when we do get back to the way of life we were used to, that we do so with a better perspective, with a reset of our priorities and with a lighter and happier heart.
These are still the precious moments of our lives.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 