Have you ever stopped to notice the world around you, with a slow-motion view? Like when you can actually see the clouds moving subtly in the sky, or when you can see the expressions on people’s faces as they text, when you catch a smile or hear a laugh, when you see someone feel hurt or tired, when you see a fly outside the window on the 13th floor of the high rise you’re in and wonder, how did such a frail small creature get so high? Have you stopped to look at your hands, the way a baby does, in awe and wonder, in a way that is truly present, like when you realise that in order for you to BE you have to have billions of cells working their butts off to help create your being? How often do we look at ourselves and see the beauty we have in our eyes, in our hearts and in our minds? How often do we look at ourselves, in our raw form and with all the flaws and blemishes and wonder, ‘WOW, this miracle of a being is me’? I can tell you that I don’t do this often enough, in fact it’s so rare and few that I can probably recall the moments that I’ve been able to kind and accepting of myself.
The reality is that the narratives in my head have become so rigid and strong that I don’t even realise that they’re gripping onto me like a slug. Sucking the joyful narratives out of my consciousness and replacing them with toxins. A form of brainwash if you like, which you buy into because when you look at the outside world, everything you know discourages self-kindness. The media, the advertisements, the interactions we have with each other too. I mean for a moment imagine a world where you weren’t ‘allowed’ to have a business meeting without first listing the wonderful characteristics of the person you’re working with. Imagine the tone, the difference in experience. Far-fetched right? But why? Because of etiquettes and mannerisms we have come to accept as ‘truth’, ‘right’, ‘wrong’, ‘acceptable’, ‘unacceptable’ etc.
When you don’t challenge the norm, you don’t realise how much potential there is for growth and freedom. When you go with the flow instead of speaking your truth, you don’t realise you’re giving more power to those outside of you instead of yourself. It’s strange how we have become so used to being critical of ourselves, how hustling and getting goals ticked off is the only motivation for us, how we are trying to manage a few different things at once and yet find no peace and calm in our experiences. How did we get here? When did we start curating our lives based on other peoples manuscripts?
To some extent this is inevitable because there are so many constructs built around us that don’t enable us, they inhibit us so that we can make sure the constructs are not challenged or changed. To some extent the battle of changing the whole make up of the world and how it’s designed seems like a pointless battle, because the reality is 7 billion + people won’t be in the same place on their soul journey and frankly some won’t even give credit to what does not serve them.
But we don’t have to always look outside of us to find answers, change and growth. We don’t have to keep the beliefs that have been holding us back or respond the same way we have always done. Sure, these are all habits, blind spots and basically us perfecting the skill of being unkind towards ourselves, but these are not definite and binding conditions, not if we choose that we are going to design new terms and conditions for our own personal lives.
I myself have been blind to this, to giving my power away and believing the lies I’ve been told because it’s so common and it’s so ‘normal’. I’ve had to squish myself down so that I could fit in, so that I can feel ‘normal’, so that I can be accepted. But now I realise that it’s all because of underlying beliefs that were false and that my ego was searching for signs and patterns that it wanted, instead of me gaining my voice and light to BE who I was always meant to be.
I also have been a bit naive to think that just because I have attained more enlightenment and awareness of my ego, that I am able to predict when and how it will strike. But the reality is the more conscious we become, the more sophisticated the ego gets. Sadly it’s like a cockroach that will survive a nuclear blast, you can’t get rid of the darn thing. So if you can’t get rid of it, what do you do? You observe it, you don’t judge it or give it credit but you understand how to dance around it in a way that is authentic to you and your journey. All we can ever do is evolve each day into the version of ourselves that we need to be at any point in time. This is will never be a fixed version, this will be ever changing. Like all dance routines, you may find some repetition here and there, but ultimately you flow with the rhythm in a way that it needs you to, to create someone beautiful and meaningful.
I know that we are all seeking abundance in one shape or form, but I think underlying it all is the same desire of being loved and accepted for who you are. Feeling safe and knowing that yesterday doesn’t have to taint today and today won’t determine tomorrow. Every moment can be filled with an abundance of joy and peace if we practice compassion and kindness. There are so many circumstances in my life right now that are not ideal and or going the way I would ever plan for them to do so. There are so many friends around me who are hurting and struggling because they’re forced to face so many feelings and discomforts that they’ve managed to avoid or numb through day to day distractions.
No one likes transformation, at least not until you make it from one phase to the next. Each time you shed a version of your old skin, you realise how fresh and beautiful the new one is and are grateful for having it. But that process of shedding is painful so let’s not sugar coat it. What’s more, we all go through this process differently and that’s ok too. I just hope that I am able to remember that abundance is right here inside of me, if I could calm down the noise that tells me things won’t work out, that you will not get what you want, that you can’t do this or that, that you won’t be accepted or succeed. All the BS narratives that has somehow found its way into my mind and now is controlling it.
Abundance is here, we just need to practice seeing it, feeling it and freeing it from inside of us to the outside world. The more we can tap into the truth and to our inner power, the more we can see how beautiful everything is. If you’re reading this and it doesn’t resonate now, trust that you’re in a different place in your journey but that you too can reach a different phase where these words become truer than true. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, it just means that we are on different paths on our way home. So be kind to yourself and be curious enough to explore your inner abundance. The moment you get a glimpse of it, you will do anything and everything to get back there.
Look around you, without thought or judgement, see things for what they are in slow-motion and observe yourself in the experience of life, it’s like you’re floating and yet are still.
Abundance is here, don’t be afraid to tap into it because you are deserving of every single bit of it.
Love Always,
Miss Dreamer
Souloom™ 