Give me a minute, I’m a bit emotional and need to ride the waves of everything I’m feeling right now. – My new mental note
I don’t think we fully allow ourselves to feel, maybe the issue is that we’ve not been taught how to surf. Some of us don’t even know how to swim and are avoiding the water all together; metaphorically speaking. I know that I haven’t learned how to experience the range of human emotions without feeling the need to react or respond to them. There has always been the need to do something with the feelings that have risen to the surface. I’ve not been taught that being human is complex and that we fluctuate constantly, between different emotions and feelings. Not knowing how to manage these waves will result in you drowning and or swallowing a lot of salty water; painful!
Luckily, we can learn how to experience our emotions and feelings in a way that doesn’t have to be painful, difficult or overwhelming. At least, not for an extended period of time. I think that’s what good mental hygiene comes down to. It’s not the absence of feeling sad, down, despair, afraid, skeptical, distrusting, angry, vulnerable, ashamed, guilty or anything else in between. Mental hygiene is being faced with all these emotions and feelings but understanding that you don’t have to react and respond to them, you don’t have to drown in them and you don’t have to be defined by them. That they don’t harm you, they’re just the various alarms in your body trying to bring certain information to your attention so that you can manage them in an efficient and thoughtful way. The issue is we’re not taught how to do any of this and often find comfort through distraction and avoidance, or perhaps even offloading them onto others.
Just like engineers need to learn the basics of mathematics and physics in order to apply them to the various diverse fields that they want to work in, as humans we need to understand the basics of how our bodies function and what we can do to maximise their use in a way that will allow us to thrive. The only challenge is that our bodies are more complex than any mathematical formula you will come across, this is because our bodies and our human experience is not black and white, it’s always evolving and it’s unique to each individual. So what works for me, won’t necessarily work for you. What I’ve experienced and have come to accept as my truth, may not be something you will see as your truth. This diverse experience makes us all incredibly interesting and beautiful. Like a treasure box full of various jewellery that has been handcrafted specifically for that individual.
I operate in a really quick way, I think fast, I do fast and I rarely stop to slow down. This is because I’m impatient and get bored when things are done slowly. So, I’ve never taken the time to experience the emotions and feelings in a meaningful way. As they have risen, I have reacted and or offloaded them. I don’t think this is healthy or effective. In fact, it could be the reason why I get anxious about certain issues, why I worry and why I feel the need to control everything. So, I need to remind myself “Give me a minute, I’m a bit emotional and need to ride the waves of everything I’m feeling right now.” My new mental note that will take some time to adjust to. Also, I know it is easier right now that I am unemployed and in isolation because of the pandemic. Forced pause has made me face so many emotions and feelings because there is no where else to hide. Nothing else that is more important.
I’m glad that I’ve been forced to face these feelings and emotions, because they’re uncomfortable but they’re not harmful and when I face them and unpack them I realise they’re incredibly valid. They’re teaching me how to understand myself a little bit better and appreciate how complex I really am. That the soul journey is always evolving and that it’s a craft that requires a lot of patience.
Explore your own emotions and feelings, don’t be afraid of them. If you need help, then don’t hold back from seeking it. It doesn’t make you weak asking for help. It makes you strong and self-compassionate. You will get through all the emotions and feelings, you can handle them because you were designed to do so. There is nothing there that you are not biologically designed to digest. You can ride the wave, you just need to practice surfing.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 