I…

I worry about what will happen a lot, I don’t think this worry is helpful and I know from experience that it doesn’t change the outcome of what is meant to be.

So, be gone.

I get angry when there is injustice, but my anger doesn’t help resolve any issue. Judging others based on their actions because they’re being unjust, doesn’t reduce inequality, it merely creates more of a distance between understanding others and the circumstance.

I get annoyed when people don’t apply rationality to their actions, when they say things that doesn’t appear to have been thought through. This is a reflection of my arrogance and not the intellect of another person. Be kind to those who operate differently to yourself!

I get stubborn when I am not loved or acknowledged in the way that the 8 year old child in me demands. She’s demanding, but she’s also unloved and requires a lot of care and attention. It’s my duty to see her and care for her, not others. I’m going to be 30 soon, so the child in me needs to feel safe and seen.

I get frustrated when I can’t have my way or control something. But I’ve been made accustomed to having it my way and that is not a realistic path in life. We need to share the solutions with others, we need to let others have it their way too.

I get sad when I feel alone and words aren’t used to express love and care towards me. My love language makes me blind to the various and diverse ways that those around me show me they love me constantly.

I judge harshly when mistakes are made, when details are ignored and when there is any form of disorganisation. This judgement is sponsored by the perfectionist in me that is trying to drive an unhealthy sense of validation. “If I do things better then somehow I’m better”, I know in my heart that this egotistical belief has been taught and I no longer require it. There is no such thing as better. Be kind.

I get proud when I have to say sorry after an argument, admitting that I’ve hurt someone that I love deeply feels really heavy. If I hurt those I love, then am I worthy of love? YES, the answer to this is always YES.

I worry, a lot, but I don’t want to worry any more. It’s not helped me with anything in life.

So I will acknowledge it, thank it for trying to protect me, then let it go.

Love Always,

M