Healing is not linear and it’s not easy.
Uncovering the little bits of you that have been hurt and or neglected throughout your life is not the same as putting a broken limb in a cast and waiting for it to recover.
Healing, involves a lot of confrontation with your inner demons, fears and false beliefs. It’s exhausting but in the same sort of way that exercise is. You know most the time you don’t enjoy it when you’re doing it, but afterwards you feel proud of persevering. But like exercise, it can also be something you avoid and ignore because you don’t initially enjoy it and or get to reap the benefits of it immediately.
I think the hardest part for me is realising that my initial assessment of certain beliefs and wounds wasn’t accurate. I misjudged the level of work that would be needed for the healing and so I felt defeated and disappointed with not being able to turn the leaf and move on. But this itself is a form of self-criticism and lack of self-love. For some of us, developing nurturing and loving narratives will be easier than others. Building your sense of self-worth up, so that you always try to be kinder and more gentle with yourself is not going to be easy.
Think about it, you’ve spent majority of your life up to this point believing lies that either have been fed to you or you’ve built in your own mind as part of your interpretation of things. You’ve believed certain ‘truths’ that now ‘define’ you and are using them to constantly put yourself down. We all do it to a degree, but the longer you do it and the more frequently you do it, the harder it will be do to undo this habit and way of thinking. One step at a time, whenever you catch yourself being critical and or judging yourself, just take one breath, step out of yourself and ask yourself would you say the things you are thinking to a little child? Would you be critical of a little child for being a certain way?
The answer to this question more often than not is no, you would be gentle, kind and understanding. So why don’t we all extend this to ourselves? Because we either haven’t been taught how to or have been shamed into believing that doing so is selfish.
Healing is not linear, it’s an unpaved and unpredictable path. There is no GPS to guide you, you will no doubt have challenges on your way and moments of utter exhaustion, fear and disappointment. But ultimately, each time you reflect on how far you have come despite all this, you will be proud of yourself for persevering.
Persevere down the path of self-love, self-compassion and self-healing.
Love yourself.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 