Feel. Feel everything.
Learn that the feelings can feel overwhelming, but they can’t hurt you.
Our subjective experiences of the world create narratives in our minds that can create both hell and heaven for us. We have never been informed or taught how to work with our cognitive biases, mental traps and defence mechanisms to create a life that is nourishing and healthy. Instead, we’ve been taught to suppress our feelings, deny our experiences and to flee from any type of pain by giving into fear. We’ve not been taught how to be human.
There is truth in the human experience being broad and diverse, there is definitely value for us experiencing the full spectrum of human existence, the good the bad and the rainbow in between. But we also need to understand that the experiences we have every day, are shaped by us and how we have been wired, by how we interpret the information that is coming in and what tone we give our narratives. When you’ve been brought up a certain way, rewiring your brain and deconstructing your beliefs is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It’s like walking into a dark room and knowing that you have to tidy it up, but that you won’t be able to turn the lights on. You will only get flashes of light that give you an indication of where everything is, but the rest is you navigating and making your way through the best that you can.
Even if you become aware of the areas of yourself that are not serving you, rewiring them and or replacing them with new found beliefs that will expand you won’t be an overnight job. This is completely ok. Don’t let it deter you and or turn into a narrative that is judgemental. Let it become a practice where you offer yourself patience, forgiveness, love and acceptance.
On this journey, we will no doubt blame others before we accept that we are too responsible for what we are experiencing. Blaming may help you feel a little less pain, but it will definitely increase your long-term suffering because you’re surrendering your power to others. Don’t surrender your power to anyone, understand that we are all responsible for our own subjective experiences. If we are in a situation that is not serving us, then we are responsible for getting ourselves out of that situation. Sometimes, we find ourselves in impossible and dangerous circumstance, in these scenarios, it is so important to find a way to seek help. There is no shame in seeking help from others, to help lift us out of what has become an unhealthy environment. Find the courage to love yourself enough to know that you deserve better and that there are always people out there that can help you seek the safety you deserve.
The reality is that we don’t live in a perfect world. That no one is perfect, ourselves included, therefore, expecting more from others is usually not going to solve any problem. It will probably lead you to a dead end and or more heartbreak. No one can and or will change if it is not motivated from within. Not because they want to please you, but because they genuinely want to evolve. Holding up the mirror for them is all we can do, but we must also be willing to see the reflection that is us when we are faced with truths that we don’t like.
Every single human being deserves love, acceptance, belonging, joy, peace, kindness, respect, forgiveness and hope. None of these are sought external to us, they are within us. Those of us who are willing to go in and find these truths, will be set free from pain and suffering. Those who rely on external sources will find temporary relief, but at some point they will find themselves longing again.
I know that I myself shift between the individual who knows truth is within and who seeks it outside of myself. That is the part of my human experience. This bouncing back and forth between the two type of dimensions is a dance I’m yet to understand better. I don’t want to role model a perfected view that there is such thing as a final destination. Our journey’s are all unique and different and I don’t think that it is ever helpful to give the impression that you are somehow now ‘free’ of your humanness because you’ve been able to tap into your soul experience.
I’m sure there are others that can better manage this balance, who can stay within the soul experience more deliberately, I for one am still exploring the two dimensions and learning about what each entail for me. Some days I’m better at being kind to myself, other days I’m washed over by my ego and it can be hard to recognise that I’m being blinded.
Respect what your journey is, love yourself for who you are, be kind to yourself when you find yourself being critical, forgive yourself for your mistakes, accept yourself whole heartedly, surrender to your self-being and find belonging and joy within yourself as much as you can. Once you do, you will experience peace and hope wash over you.
You are so beautiful, see yourself in the mirror.
See your true self.
Love yourself.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 