Being present requires a lot of practice, it’s hard to be ‘here’ if you are constantly ruminating in your mind about the various to do lists, worries, aspirations and past and upcoming events. Being here, requires you to let it all go and that can be really difficult to achieve, especially if you’re pressuring yourself to make sudden shifts. I have been attempting to be present for years, but I keep getting frustrated when I find myself in my ruminating mind.
During this pandemic, everything took a slow motion effect to it and during the slow motion I realised that the only way I can achieve presence, is by unlearning behaviours and beliefs that have been causing me to miss the present moment. Examples. include my need for constant multi-tasking, the reactive nature to responding to all my messages as soon as they came through, spending more time on my Facebook than I needed to etc. Sure, sometimes multi-tasking can be useful, sometimes a message can’t wait and the occasional Social Media is a great way to expand on your connection with the wider world. But the moment these turn into your daily habits, your way of being, then you can’t expect yourself to also be present.
So, I had to make the changes and I started in places that I felt most comfortable. I also had to be upfront with myself, I had to let go of my perfectionistic tendencies at a more deeper level. I had to accept that I don’t have the cognitive capacity or the emotional engagement to strive for perfection. I just needed to take one step at a time, to keep myself going, somehow. This started my journey back to slowing down and becoming a little bit more present than I was before. It is on this journey that I recognise that I still have a long way to go and no doubt once my circumstance change I will again have to fight hard to maintain new habits over old ones.
I am anticipating that change of circumstance will throw curve balls my way, that’s natural, I just need to continue putting one foot in front of another and staying true to the values I’ve come to discover as part of this transitional phase in my life.
I have gotten the chance to get to know myself in a more holistic way, mind, body and soul and they’re all so very different to each other. My mind is definitely used to feeling like the master, but I’ve come to appreciate that my heart is actually more sophisticated and aligned to my peace. For years I’ve tried to suppress the intensity of my emotions and way of being in the world so that I could belong and so that I wouldn’t make others uncomfortable. I don’t want to do that anymore, I recognise that my way of being is actually really powerful and necessary for my joy and peace. What I need to focus on is to find a tribe of like hearted people who can inspire me to be more of my authentic self everyday.
There is nothing special about me and I’m not saying this to put myself down, rather I can appreciate that I like every human being am unique and that in itself can be argued as a special feature that we all get to encompass. We’re so focused on conforming and belonging that we’re losing all the wonderful parts of ourselves that makes life so much more interesting and beautiful.
Choose real beauty everyday, choose your own colours, your own voice and your own authentic self. Pause as much as you can so that you can find yourself in the present moment. Here, in the now. Put one foot in front of another, you can free yourself from so many narratives that are holding you back.
Day by day, no effort is wasted.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 