I would say that I am an ambitious person, but I also don’t have the same level of desire that most ambitious people around me have. In my early 20s I was unknowingly pursuing the path that is set out by society for most of us, to go to university, do well in your studies, get a good job at a well known organisation and then continue to work your way up and through the various challenges so that you can succeed.
But what does it even mean to be successful? It didn’t take me long to recognise that my drivers and motivations for work were not the same as most of those that were around me. I started recognising that the definition of success wasn’t even clear to me and that I was seeking achievements, because I was defining myself and my success with what could be measured and tangibly grasped by not just myself but also those around me.
But the older I am getting and the more I am starting to unpack who I am (in my human sense) and what I want, the more I drift away from the perceptions I used to hold. I am still trying to define the meaning of success for me and I don’t think it will ever be a static definition. But, I am wondering if the definition that I have attached to achievements is only setting me up to feel sh*t about myself.
As I sit here pondering about what achievements are and how I would define them, I start recognising that the measures I’ve used have always been materialistic and standard. I would traditionally define achievements as career outcomes, completing studies, gaining financial independent, winning competitions and or making progress with goals. Don’t get me wrong, these are all achievements, but they’re not the only achievements that deserve the recognition, attention and celebration that I give.
I started wondering about whether or not managing your days with joy is an achievement, whether or not maintaining a self-care routine is an achievement, extending kindness to a stranger, watering the plants in your garden, picking up rubbish from the side-walk as you are out for your walk etc. What if we extend the definition of achievements to be broader than what we traditionally hold them to be? Doesn’t that mean that we are all constantly achieving great and wonderful things? Yes, yes we are all constantly achieving great and wonderful things. How liberating to live with this world view instead of the narrow definition that we utilise which also excludes those who may not have the same opportunities as us.
I don’t think I have achieved anything more than someone who may have not had the opportunities that I have. Maybe on paper I have a lot of achievements, but if I look at a stranger who is dedicating their time to their community, a neighbour who is checking in on the elderly person living next door, a child who feeds the local cats, a stranger who helps the pregnant woman carry her groceries, a student who passes an exam despite their learning disabilities, these are all daily achievements that deserve our recognition, attention and celebration. Being kind is an achievement, being thoughtful, being good and considered.
I want to broaden my personal definition of achievement, I want to take the pressure off and also create more opportunity to celebrate myself. Small, intangible actions and efforts are still achievements.
What are all the wonderful achievements you’ve had today?
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 