The illusion that we can determine our future and or make choices that will lead to the outcomes that we want isn’t sustainable. At some point or another your life path can change without warning and you will be redirected down a route that you didn’t anticipate and would certainly never choose. Or so it seems when you’re first processing the disappointment and grief that comes with losing what you had desired and hoped for.
But there is still beauty and joy in the new path, only if we can let go of what was not meant to be ours and face the grief with courage so that we can see the sun that is behind the clouds. This is not an easy ask nor is it something that can be done in a linear fashion. I’m personally finding the journey rather exhausting as it feels as though every time I try to change the chapter to start anew, I am reminded that there is no certainty in the future and so I need to get more comfortable with patience, acceptance and letting go.
I’m sad, slightly bitter and a little frustrated at the moment because I’m still clinging onto my old and prominent beliefs which paint me as a victim in this journey. But for the few brief moments that I’m able to let go of the beliefs and look at the world with more trust, faith and hope, I realise clearly that whatever path I’m on will no doubt work out in my favour. It is my choice to open my heart, mind and eyes to this or to keep them closed in the grief that is overwhelming in its power.
It’s all a matter of perspective, it’s all about what we think and how we narrate our stories. This requires a lot of skill, practice and awareness, because it’s not something that we are really taught. What’s more, is that the disconnected world that we live in, has made it harder for us to walk down the path of life with a sense of support, understanding and love. So this journey feels more isolated than ever, but that’s only because we are not showing our vulnerability, not because we are not each going down this path in one shape or another.
I have lived in the worry state for a decade and found that it didn’t lead anywhere, apart from losing time and precious moments. So, the only thing I have to do now is remind myself that there is another choice, the choice to look at the world as is, to accept reality as is and to practice patience with myself and my life until I can find peace and also bliss in the very moment I’m in. That doesn’t mean that I won’t set goals, that I won’t have dreams and that I won’t work towards a future that I perceive as most beautiful for myself right now. It just means that I know that the future is not where I’m meant to arrive, the present moment is where I’m meant to live.
Hard steps, hard choices, painful moments but one thing is for certain that all I need to do is to focus on my next breath.
With one breath at a time you can pull yourself through some of the most difficult experiences of your life. I believe through my own experience, that we are only ever dealt cards that we have the ability to play with – even if at the start it may not be evident to us. So, trust that you can get through the pain no matter how impossible it may feel.
I know it’s hard, I know you’re tired, but you can do this, one breath at a time.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 