Pace..

Last year as a result of being unemployed and impacted by the pandemic, I was forced to face the pace in which I went through life. I’m sure most people went through a similar experience, where they suddenly realised that they had been on the go constantly and that they weren’t required to pause as often as they probably needed to.

I know for me, the pause aligned well with the other traumatic and painful events that I had to go through. Lucky it did because it’s probably the main reason that I was able to get through the challenges with resilience and strength. I don’t like not being productive and have this constant fear of losing time. I’m used to chasing the future and as a result my presents become the past before they even start. My brain runs a million miles an hour, she’s a fast track runner with record breaking speeds. But that pace comes at a cost, one that we don’t often talk about because we have designed a social culture that encourages the go go go mentality.

I really enjoyed taking a step back and re-adjusting my pace and thought that I will be able to maintain the calmer and more slower way of thinking and being in the world. But after getting re-employed, I’ve found that mentality to be a struggle. The tabs have re-opened in my head and the thinking has accelerated again! It’s interesting because I rarely think about work related matters, but somehow working has resulted in my thoughts racing once more. This then leads to more anxiety and worry about the future and of course the narratives that aren’t necessarily true and or logical start occupying my mind. My imagination goes wild and I start thinking about the worst case scenarios.

I find that the more time I spend in nature, taking care of myself and or just pacing things out helps. But I have to make an active effort to slow down. I have to remember over and over again, that it’s not about how fast I do things but how much attention I’m paying to the things that I do, that really matters to me. I would like to slow down the pace in which I experience life so that I can remember more of it and enjoy more of it.

This is a poem that came to me today as a result of finding extra time to relax and slow down. I hope it helps you come back to the present moment too.

Slow Down:

Slow down,

The words of caution I whisper underneath my breath,

There is hope even after death,

There are dreams that come and go,

There is love that will grow and grow,

Slow down,

You’re thinking far ahead,

Making fears capture your every breath,

They’re in control, there is no lying,

Why do you keep on denying?

Slow down,

There are too many choices,

Too many roads,

Too many what if’s and too many no’s,

Slow down,

It’s not going to last forever,

I don’t like the idea of never,

Slow down,

I don’t know how,

Or where I’ll end up in this town,

I don’t want to stay here,

I have to leave,

But not disappear,

Slow down,

I catch myself with no time,

Is it wasted or is it lost,

I don’t know the true cost,

Slow down,

Please, I beg inside my head,

I don’t want for this dream to end,

Slow down,

Let go of that hard grip,

You need to let let things go,

So that they can grow,

Slow down,

Stay right here,

In this moment there is nothing to fear,

Slow down,

Slow,

Down,

I heard it for the first time,

I let it go,

I let it set,

I decided to watch it grow instead,

I’m not worried,

I’m not fussed,

I’m not trying,

I’m not lost,

In that moment, that I stopped,

I realised that life could not be rushed.

Love Always,

M