Comparison is a b*^ch! It’s the fastest way you can completely reduce your sense of joy, gratitude and self-worth. Whether you’re comparing yourself physically, emotionally, romantically, financially, professionally etc. you are setting yourself up to fail miserably. Comparing yourself is distracting you from everything you’ve achieved, overcome, been blessed with, worked hard for, learned or have been gifted with, for what somebody else has instead. It takes you away from everything that is important to you and makes you feel like you have nothing worth celebrating and or being joyful about.
But, comparison has become more than just a norm in this day and age, it’s become a constant daily habit for most and it is encouraged more and more with the social media platforms, celebrity culture and the media that we consume. It’s toxic, it’s dangerous and it’s the easiest way we can ruin our beautiful lives. It’s like having the most beautiful rose in front of you, then noticing someone else has a sunflower and thinking well the sunflower is brighter, bigger and associated with more joy than the rose that I have. Why do they get the sunflower and I get the rose? But both are so beautiful in their own way, both are worth celebrating, both are worth loving and appreciating and both require our full focus not our distracted selves.
I know I find myself falling into the trap of comparison from time to time. It’s particularly triggered when my value of justice is breached and my perfectionistic tendencies are also heightened. I get angry and annoyed when the outcome of our actions is not fairly rewarded and I get hung up on the comparison of my life with those who I know for a fact haven’t been truthful, honest or authentic yet have arrived out the destination and the outcome that I’ve worked really hard for. Recently I found myself feeling professionally frustrated because I realised that no matter how hard I work, how much I demonstrate my capabilities and how much value I bring, I am unable to progress through the promotions that I know I deserve and I’m ready for. Yet others, who have far less experience than me and worse, have not been open and honest about their journey have gotten the opportunities that I wish I could get.
At first, I thought this may come from a place of jealousy, but I reflected hard on this and realised that I’m actually not jealous of the individuals, in fact I’m happy for them because I know they too deserve good things. So then I wondered where is all this anger coming from and it was when I realised that when my value of justice is breached, I become somewhat enraged with the way the world is setup.
This all comes from a place of ego and not of love. This all manifests from a self that I have been conditioned into but I’m working hard to transform from. The reality is, comparison put me in the trap of somehow thinking that our journey’s were like for like and therefore, the outcomes should be justly determined. But in reality, the journey’s are vastly different and it was like comparing apples to oranges! What’s more, when I took a step back and looked at the whole picture I realised that where I am right now and how things have worked out for me, is much more aligned to what I need in life than what I was comparing my life too.
Comparing myself to others only made me blind to my own achievements, it reduced their significance and made them small. It made me forget the celebration they deserve and the appreciation they require. It sucked out all the joy and brought in the critical thinking that was destroying my sense of self worth. But, I don’t want to be my own worst enemy and I certainly don’t want to be the type of person who can’t see how precious and beautiful her rose is. In time I may also get a sunflower but for now, I have a beautiful rose that is all mine and that I have in front of me to admire, to smell, to enjoy and to love. It’s ok to acknowledge the sunflower for its beauty, but I don’t need the sunflower and I trust that throughout my life I will have the privilege of coming across all sorts of flowers, each with their own scent, their own colours, their own needs and their own gifts. Such is the same for life circumstances, each circumstance has its own gifts, its own lessons, its own joys and its own blessings. If we can recognise them when they’re in front of us, then we will live a truly magnificent life full of beauty and joy.
Love the flower in front of you, put your attention on all the blessings you have right now for they are valuable and worthwhile. Notice the good in your life, no matter how small they are. You will get to experience so many different types of joy throughout this life so don’t worry about missing out.
Love yourself.
Love your life.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 