We all have particular ‘programming’ that is deeply wired into us based on what we’ve learned throughout our most critical development years. As you get older and you start shaping yourself and have more autonomy to make decisions around who you want to be and how you want to experience life, you become more attuned to where the unconscious programming doesn’t align with what you are trying to achieve.
I think this is how we start to self-sabotage ourselves, that is, when our deeply held beliefs of being in the world don’t align with our present version, we end up reacting to things in a way that isn’t self-serving and or elevating; instead, it’s self-sabotaging and counter-productive.
Becoming aware of these narratives that put you down is difficult, because there are so many blind spots even for those of us who are self-aware and or introspective. You will always need a mirror to help reflect yourself back at you. For your beliefs, the best mirrors are your relationships and interactions with others. Through these interactions, you’re able to learn more about how you show up to any given situation. It then becomes your choice to determine if you like the way you are moving in the world or if you need to reflect on how you can improve and advance your way of being. In other words, in order to find alignment with your current values, you need to recognise what you need to move away from.
I find the most revealing mirrors to be those from my workplace, my partner and my family. These are the most intimate mirrors that hold up all my insecurities, expectations, needs and fears. By paying attention to how I act in these settings, I learn a lot about how I am in the world. Particularly when my needs aren’t being met and or if my values aren’t being respected.
These settings provide me with an incredible opportunity to learn more about which values are guiding me through my days and therefore influencing my behaviours. I recognise that I’m not acting in the most aligned way to my current day values, as I’m too well versed in acting out my old values. But I am slowly trying to rewire my brain, replace my thoughts and therefore influence my behaviours towards values that are more relevant to my current self and not my past self.
The more I practice this, the closer I get to becoming a version of myself that is aligned to this part of my journey. That is all we can ever do, practice and hope that we get one step closer to the intended outcome.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 