Those that have been visiting Souloom™ regularly would probably have noticed that there are various approaches and perspectives applied to my Soul Journey. There is the logical lens, the psychological lens, the philosophical lens and the spiritual lens. These are the various glasses that I utilise to help me navigate my world, my experiences and my evolution.
For me there is an understanding that there is both complexity and simplicity in our Soul Journey and that contradictions and paradoxes will arise, which will feel uncomfortable for my ‘brain’ to make sense of, but my heart knows very well that there is more to understanding the self than the mind could ever fathom.
My personal fascination lies in psychology as I am curious by the way the mind works and how as humans we behave and operate in this world. The psychological world is complex and multi-faceted, there is the old age argument of nature vs nurture of which I personally support both. With this in mind, I’ve become more and more curious about understanding the unintended consequences of my nurture and how it has led to the formation of certain beliefs, narratives and behaviours that now seem to shape my life.
Becoming a parent is one of the only high skilled jobs in the world that doesn’t require a formal education. It’s one of the most difficult, complicated and important ‘jobs’ one can hold and yet it is perceived as an inherent part of life that just ‘is’. Whilst there are many elements of parenting that are hardwired in us, there are also many aspects that would highly benefit from an academic understanding of what is required to help develop and nurture another human being. Most parents have the best interests of their kids at heart and put in all their best efforts to provide them with the best of everything. For this reason alone it’s important to know that our parents have always done the best that they could and for that they deserve our love, appreciation and gratitude.
But our parents are humans too and would have constraints and limitations that will no doubt interfere with their ability to deliver on their intentions. Eve with the best of intentions at heart, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have the tools and knowledge required to fulfil and meet our unique set of needs at various parts of our development. Particularly when there are external events that are impacting the family and causing additional layers of complexity, trauma and threat, which require professional expertise to help navigate the impacts. When there is a mismatch between the toolbox that our parents have and the parenting that we require, there are unintended consequences that ultimately shape our way of being in the world not just as children, but also as adults.
I am yet to meet someone who doesn’t have some form of challenge and or obstacle that hasn’t been shaped by their childhood experience, I think this is a reflection of the reality that there is no such thing as perfect parenting and it is unrealistic to expect that there will be circumstances where children will develop and grow into completely healthy adults in all aspects of their lives. It’s also important to highlight that parents are only one channel of influence, there are multiple different facets in our environment that shape us and our parents often don’t have control over many of these influences. The end result of our childhood is that we all end up somewhere on the scale of healthy vs unhealthy ‘programming’ and depending on where you land, the work you have to do as an independent adult will differ. Not withstanding the fact that one would not pursue the path of rewiring their programming if it continues to serve them.
I’ve become highly aware of the reality that although on the surface I have coped very well with all the trauma that has occurred over the past 30 years of my life, internally I’ve not had the tools to manage them in a healthy way and as a result they are now manifesting themselves in all sorts of mental health conditions like anxiety, depression and or limiting beliefs. As an adult, I have a choice to make regarding whether or not the programming that has been engrained in me will be the programming I take forward with me from this point or if I decide to start rewiring my brain and rewriting the program that is more aligned with the version of the person that I am becoming.
I have chosen the latter, for me growth and traction is such an important part of life. It’s what drives me and inspires me and it’s what has got me to this point in my Soul Journey. There is no finger of blame being pointed at anyone, including myself. Though I will admit that it took me a while to arrive at the point where I didn’t blame myself for some of the poor decisions I’ve made that have led me to all the dark points of my life. There is merely a recognition of what situations may have caused certain experiences and therefore certain interpretations of the world which have eventually shaped the beliefs that characterise my way of being at the present.
Like everyone else, there are so many experiences from my childhood that have resulted in unmet needs. These unmet needs were not deliberately left unmet. But nevertheless a certain set of circumstances have resulted in them going unmet and now they require my adult attention. It’s really difficult for me to understand what specifically requires my love, time and energy but I am working hard on connecting with my inner child in a more conscious way, so that I can help her feel more at ease with her unmet needs and hopefully meet them through my current self.
This is the beauty of adulthood, you have the power and the choice to decide what to do with all the internal struggles and experiences that you go through. Yes you have hard work ahead of you but you also have the power to free yourself from being tied up by shackles that are preventing you from moving forward. Now that I’m an adult, I can start working on what the child within me needs and offer the healing that will enable that child to feel safe and utterly loved.
Yesterday I had a win on this journey and was able to bring into my consciousness an unconscious need that my inner child has been carrying for all these years. The below ‘checking in’ podcast by Susan David was what enabled me to do this as it evoked a lot of suppressed emotions and perspectives that I wasn’t fully aware of, but the moment they came to my awareness I was able to heal through it and acknowledge my inner child’s needs. It was an incredibly hard exercise but resulted in such a beautiful and liberating healing as part of my Soul Journey.
I want to share this incredible podcast and exercise because it can have an impact on your Soul Journey too and it could help unlock so many parts of your inner child that is working hard at attracting your attention. It’s a heavy listen and it can evoke a lot of deeply suppressed emotions and memories so if you do wish to listen to it make sure that you’re in a safe environment and you are emotionally and mentally prepared to experience whatever may come up for you.
Should you choose to embark on this exercise and journey, please remember that self-love, compassion and acceptance is crucial to getting you through the discomfort of pain and into the other side of peace and contentment.
Seek professional support so that you don’t have to go through this journey alone, I’ve been doing regular therapy the past year and that has been crucial in supporting me through my own personal journey so too has the inner work and the inquisitive desire to learn more about the philosophy of life. These are the tools that have helped me, find the tools that can help you.
Free yourself from the chains of limiting beliefs and watch yourself heal.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 