At the beginning of this year I was setting the intention word for 2021, to help me focus in on a particular aspect of my life and or experiences in order to further deepen my growth. I ended up with the word clarity, which didn’t really resonate with my heart but was something that my mind was rooting for because I was and am unclear on many aspects of my life. I recognised that I need to become more clear and so I thought that clarity would be something that I could possibly control. But after almost 5 months into the year and the intention word being clarity, I’ve noticed that it is causing me more pressure and discomfort than it’s worth.
I’ve learned that clarity can’t be forced and it’s something that takes time as well as trial and error. I started to understand the word clarity a little bit more but I wasn’t able to attain it in my life. This is creating both frustration, anxiety and a sense of ‘what’s wrong with me, why don’t I know what I want’ mentality. In short, it’s not meeting it’s purpose in terms of letting me grow and if anything it’s highlighting to me how much is out of my control. So whilst I recognise being clear about what I want and who I am is important, I also have to recognise that on that journey I’m the turtle not the hair and so I have to be patient with myself and accept the fact that I won’t be able to answer those questions right now. Putting my trust into believing that one day I will be clear about it all, it’s just that one day isn’t today.
As I reflect on this I feel both uneasy and a little disappointed because my perfectionist self feels like I’ve somehow failed the growth approach that I’ve applied since 2017 with my intention words. As I was journalling this morning I recognised that the word and timing for that intention isn’t resonating and so it’s important that I re-evaluate what the right intention word for me is and immediately the word that came to mind was Pivot.
This is sitting so comfortably in my heart because I recognise that I need to apply it and understand how I can pivot in all aspects of my life, with regards to decisions, choices, beliefs, ways of being, outcomes etc. Having the ability to navigate an ambiguous environment and circumstance requires the ability to pivot when things don’t go as to ‘plan’. I can’t change the fact that there is uncertainty around me but I can practice pivoting when I’m faced with situations, scenarios and decisions that aren’t meeting my expectations and therefore focus on how I can maximise the ambiguity instead of suffer from the lack of control in it.
So there it is, I will start pivoting by changing my intention word 5 months into the year.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 