I missed a post yesterday. After what had been a long, hard and busy week I had to reprioritise my weekend in order to get things done that I couldn’t drop the ball on. As a result, I didn’t have the time or energy to write up a blog post. So this morning, I was debating whether or not I should step out of my ‘routine’ timeline of posting blogs and I realised why not?
I don’t want to get fixated on routine, habits and how things ‘should’ be done, I find all that way too constraining and the whole intent of this blog is to help expand and grow. So here I am on a Monday morning doing a post about the week ahead. I feel incredibly tired and struggling to keep my eyes open, desperate for a cup of coffee but also aware that if I choose to have coffee I can spiral down my rabbit hole of anxiety as I am already pretty anxious.
I don’t fight my anxiety anymore, I just try to tame it with deep slow breaths, yoga, writing and steering away from coffee where possible. I’ve accepted that anxiety is not something that you can get rid of. It’s something you have to gradually release parts of and understand the root cause of. My anxiety is the result of years and years of bottling up feelings that I didn’t know how to process, so it will take some descent amount of time for whatever part of my brain that is feeling unsafe, to feel safe again. So, I will be patient with it until it can get strong enough to trust that I’m now capable of taking care of it and that I know how to handle the environment and the experiences that I’m in.
At the moment, the major trigger and cause for my anxiety is related to work. Work has become more and more stressful and it’s occupying my mind. I think it’s because I’m not in a role that plays to my strengths and or one that sparks my interest. I’m in a role where my ego feels powerful, confident and arrogant. That’s not the right vibration level I want to operate in, so I need to find the path out of here and I have to become confident and courageous enough to say no to my ego and yes to my heart.
This week, I would like to be my own best friend, by showing up in the most caring and compassionate way towards myself. I would like to give myself all the love there is and create a space that will allow my overstressed brain to relax and rest.
This week, I will observe the feelings that arise and try not to react to them. Instead, understand that they’re showing me something important about what I want and what I need.
I pray for the courage, compassion and open heart that I need to get through a week that is going to have turbulence.
I pray that we all get through our weeks with expansive vibrations and nothing but love.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 