My partner and I have been a part from each other for the past 18 months because of the pandemic. Things were looking upward when he was due to fly out to New Zealand so that I can go to there from Australia and we can reunite. But unfortunately Covid had other plans because NSW, the state which I live in, has gone into lock down and is in the worst situation it has been since the pandemic started.
This is upsetting and disappointing, but also equally I’ve noticed that I have a sense of calm washing over me. A sense of acceptance as I recognise there is nothing that can be done. Prior to him coming down under, I did consider this scenario and mentally prepared myself for what may come. I recognised in that exercise that I am making progress with the practice of putting faith over fear. Trusting the timing of my life and recognising that what’s mine will not pass me by.
There has to be a reason as to why things had to happen this way. I may not realise the reasons and or agree with it, but I’m choosing to trust god because of the faith I’m practicing. That’s my own personal choice and I know it’s not for everyone. But for me the act of faith enables me to stress less and accept more. There is a lot I need to practice because I’m a high control person and I often want to influence the outcomes in my life. But time and time again I’ve learned that the more harder I try to hold on, the more painful it can get.
So, as I find myself in this unfortunate situation I try to focus on all the blessings that are still present. Like the fact that despite being faced with the rising cases, the government has decided to apply a lockdown that will help keep us as safe as possible. Yes there are flaws in their approach and in the vaccine program, but they’re human too. I’m focusing on the fact that he’s in New Zealand quarantining and that the flights from UK / Singapore didn’t get diverted and or impacted because of the pandemic. These little things are the blessings that I am choosing to see in a situation that is not ideal and or how I would personally desire it to be.
There are so many situations in day to day life that we can choose to accept and or choose to control. I’ve tried the controlling path and it hasn’t worked. So I would like to get better and better at accepting things and freeing myself of that which I cannot control and instead focus on the internal narratives and beliefs that are in my control. They’re how I show up in the world and although they were programmed into me through nature and nurture, I do have some level of control over how they get to influence my experiences. Perhaps control is not the right word, perhaps the right word is choice.
The ability to choose your thoughts and therefore shape your own experiences and perspectives is the ultimate form of freedom in my view. Not matter what the external world may look like, you can choose to experience it with the way you establish your inner world.
It’s hard, it takes time, requires commitment and sometimes you just want to give up and dwell over everything. It’s ok, that’s where self-love and compassion is key. You’re not meant to be perfect and neither is your Soul Journey. Be open to the messiness, the falls, the mistakes the disappointments and enjoy as much as you can. Life is too short not to enjoy things.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 