When you get into a rhythm of being busy, you start treating idle time as wasted time and that’s not how I want to go about labelling days where I’m idle and or relaxing in the nothingness that’s planned. Today I noticed I was really agitated because I didn’t follow my routine, I didn’t do the things that I ‘have’ to do and I didn’t really do anything where I felt like I was making the most of my day off. I didn’t do much today, it felt like a nothing done day, but that nothingness helped me see things that needed to come up to the surface.
What came up for me is that I have overloaded myself with things that I need to study, read, do and practice. This is all for my coaching program and all things I love, but combined with work it’s all gotten a bit too much. I’ve learned today that my body is just looking for rest time, time to not utilise my brain for anything important and or analytical, time to move slowly and do different things, time for me to catch up with me and not have the desire to have to constantly talk to others and or do things that I feel like I need to do.
Being in lockdown doesn’t help, because when you’re not keeping yourself busy you start feeling a bit claustrophobic and a bit stuck. Without realising it I’ve been biting off more than I could chew, so that I don’t have to feel the discomfort that comes with being in lockdown in a middle of a pandemic.
What I need to remind myself of is that there is nothing to be afraid of, that when you find yourself in the stillness, in the quiet, in the nothing you can observe the thoughts that come up and also observe them as they float away. The feelings that ripple through your body are eventually going to stop and ultimately you will start to recognise that beyond the discomfort of it all sits peace. It’s also really important to practice gratitude with every moment that comes up for you, because what we have now is always a blessing that one day we will yearn for.
You don’t always have to be busy in order to find precious moments. The small moments are precious, the small acts of love, kindness and connection. They don’t have to be big and bold to be important. This is our life, every single moment is just as precious as the last.
So, here today on this night as I sit alone in the stillness and the quiet in lockdown, I will try and befriend the discomforts and the thoughts that arise and let them know that they can come and go as they wish but I am in search of the peace that is just behind the horizon of my mind and that’s where I will be going.
Find the peace within you, it’s behind the noise and the discomfort.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 