When I reflect back on all the time that I have lost worrying about the what ifs of life, I realise that I’ve achieved nothing but to waste precious moments on an exercise that doesn’t serve me. There are things in life that are difficult, they ignite a range of emotions out of us and it’s important to let those feelings rise and then go. Once you’ve felt them, it’s crucial that you guide them out of you so that you can create space in you for other feelings to rise up when they need.
I’ve not let go of a lot of emotions, I’ve not let go of a lot of experiences in life and therefore here I am reacting from a place that is influenced by the past and not the present. I don’t know how to let go naturally, it’s not something that I’ve observed around me growing up and it’s not a concept that I was familiar with until a couple of years ago. But I’m starting to understand that letting go is a practice, a spiritual one that requires you to be an observer and detach yourself from all the narratives that will tempt you into holding on tighter. Letting go of our attachments is a key step towards finding peace and freedom.
I need to tap into this practice today because there is a lot in my life that is yet again triggering fear, anxiety and guilt. Between the uncertainty around my relationship and what will happen next, the uncertainty and concern for my mothers well being, the lack of acknowledgement and recognition at work, being in isolation for almost 9 weeks without human interaction due to lockdown and the exhaustion that comes from overworking myself, I am finding that there are a lot of narratives that my mind is clinging onto.
This clinging does nothing but rob me of this moment, here, where there is nothing wrong and nothing lost. Pulling away from these narratives and thoughts is incredibly difficult because it means letting go of all the narratives that have been formed throughout my whole life. If you let go of all these narratives what’s left? Behind all this I can sense the peace, the calm, the joy and the bliss which is here in the now just waiting to be felt and experienced by me. But it’s a choice I have to make, to desire that peace more than I desire the familiarity of my thoughts.
So, I’m going to cry the tears, I’m going to journal the worries, I’m going to release the tension through yoga, acknowledge the uncertainty through prayer, calm the mind through meditation and then I’m going to practice letting go. I have to. I have to let it all go. I sense a long day ahead, one that will challenge me thoroughly on my attempts of letting go. But I’ve tried clinging on, it hasn’t served me, so what do I have to lose by letting go?
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 