It’s hard to pick yourself up if you let yourself fall too far. The question is not whether or not we have the strength to persevere through tough circumstances, the question is how much are willing to sacrifice in order to claim strength in the face of adversity? The past couple of weeks have posed incredibly difficult circumstances in various aspects of my life, as a result of that my stress levels increased significantly. I acknowledged that as a fact instead of a signal, and pushed through the hard times when I really needed to stop and rest. I thought I was caring for myself during the difficult time with little things like trying to journal, do yoga or go to bed early. But what I didn’t appreciate is that doing any of these things inconsistently and or half heartedly, doesn’t produce you with the outcome that you’re hoping it will.
When I took a couple of days off work last week all the stress and despair showed up and there was nothing for me to hide behind. No work to keep me busy, no study to keep me going, no activity due to lockdown, nothing but the opportunity to face the extent to which I had neglected my body and suppress my feelings. I was upset with myself for allowing my pride and strength to take the lead during a time where my compassion and courage needed to step in. Fortunately, my experiences and efforts over the past year have resulted in some level of wisdom which enabled me the insight that this experience is a reflection of poor past decisions and that I have the power and the choice to do differently going ahead. So, I made it my focus to do small things to care for myself and ensure that I celebrate them as big achievements, knowing how much effort is required when faced with that level of depression and or stress, even the smallest acts of self-care deserve to be acknowledged as triumphs.
I recognise that mental health challenges will arise from time to time, but I’m also becoming wiser about how I play an active role in igniting those challenges and what role I can play in subsiding them. Our bodies will respond to the environment and decisions that we make. Every thought has an impact on the well-being of our bodies and our minds, so it’s important that we observe those thoughts and ensure that they’re serving us. It’s important to be your own friend and to love yourself the same way you would another. It’s important to learn about how to identify your needs in any given moment and how to meet them adequately.
If you don’t take care of your body then you can’t face adversity and life with the same level of resilience, energy and optimism. I’ve come to realise that being strong doesn’t mean that you just keep going and do so without complaint. Being strong is about knowing how to build up your toolkit, how to identify your boundaries, how to maintain your well-being and how to show up for yourself in the face of challenge and hardship. Being strong is not about not quitting, it’s about knowing where to draw the line and then applying your courage to stop if you have to.
There is enough external stimulus provoking stress in me, I don’t need to pour fuel over the fire with my own internal narratives that only enhance the stress and the sadness. I choose to challenge the programming that I’ve been engrained with and I choose to rewire my brain little by little.
Pay attention to your thoughts, your needs and your role in taking care of yourself. You have more control than you realise.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 