I recently read that humans are not built to be happy, they’re built to be safe. At first I agreed with this statement, because it was relatable. But then I wondered why is this relatable and I realised it’s because of my own personal experience and habits. It’s because of the journey I’ve had and the way the beliefs I’ve formed around my worthiness. I’m wondering now if this statement is yet another limiting way of constraining our human experience. We are creatures of habit and comfort and that is something that we all are familiar with. But to say that we’re not built for happiness is somehow implying that it’s not a natural way of being and so we need to alter and or modify ourselves to experience it.
I’ve always held the view that we are built to feel, period. Whatever those feelings are, they’re apart of our human experience and so they need to be observed and honoured. We can’t choose our feelings, the sooner we accept that the sooner we can befriend them in a way that is free and liberating. Even if they are difficult and heavy to carry, our feelings are all a part of our journey. After feeling them and honouring them, that is where we have a choice. That is where we can decide what to do next, that’s where we can either fall into the feelings or walk through them.
I know very well that when I feel sadness and sorrow, I tend to attach stories to it that disempower me and make me feel low. But it’s the stories that I attach that do that and not the feeling themselves. I fall into the feelings in a way that removes me from my other experiences and way of being. I’m slowly learning that falling into these feelings is not serving me and it doesn’t honour them. Instead, what I need to build is the courage to walk through them with ease, acceptance, patience and love. The less you resist these feelings the less they have power over you.
Sadness and sorrow have their own beauty, they can shine a light on what you love and what you want. They are there to remind you of what is important to you. When I resist sadness or sorrow I become a victim, because I’m accepting them as a way of being as opposed to as a way of feeling. This is another key point, there is a difference between accepting the fact that you will experience various feelings vs accepting the feelings as defining ways to be. When you use your feelings to define yourself and your experiences, that is when you can fall into the trap and find it hard to climb back out and then through.
This takes much practice and a lot of falling, like most things in life this is part of the Soul Journey and our individual evolution. What we need to remember is that we are empowered beings that often forget how much power and choice we have. We have the power of will and the power of growth. So, yes there are comfort zones that need to be stretched, but we are designed experience a range of feelings, so embrace it all. Stop trying to be anything other than complex and messy human beings. Connect with yourself and with others, create a space where you can be, and then just BE.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 