Growing up around a lot of uncertainty, change, family health issues and a society where certain freedoms were limited, I’ve learned some coping mechanisms that cultivate anxiety. As a child and a teen, this anxiety kept me safe and helped me cope with my environment. As an adult, this anxiety can be crippling and robs me of my joy and present moments.
I work hard at managing the stress, anxiety and depression on a daily basis. Most people external to me won’t even notice the depression and the stress and anxiety only comes up in certain scenarios and dynamics. But that doesn’t mean that I am not working hard at rewiring my brain and managing the current habits and thinking patterns that are no longer serving me.
I’ve made progress that’s for sure, but when you’re trying to completely rewire yourself and unlearn most of the way that you are in the world, the battle is long and hard! Some days you will take a few steps forward, other days a few steps back. Instead of looking at it as regression, I choose to look at it as a dance. There is a sequence of movements in dancing, often repetitive but it’s that repetition that makes movements a manifestation of art and expression. The same can be applied in life, we go back and forth with our lessons and insights and we are constantly moving through the flow of life creating an art form of our being.
Right now a lot of my nervousness is centred around becoming more anxious. So I am anxious about becoming anxious, but I need to challenge these thoughts by reminding myself that I have seen the next sequence in this dance and even if I have to repeat a previous movement, I am not stuck there. I can breath and let go of the expectation that it will be smooth sailing and trust that even when there is a storm I will get through.
Being here, in this moment is all that can be practiced. Being kind to yourself and others, remembering that we are all going through our own set of challenges and obstacles. We are all dancing to the tunes of our lives and moving along with it in the most beautiful way we know how.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 