Being consistent isn’t the same thing as being perfect. We are human, so we will always have the highs and lows of life. We will have good days and bad, good moods and not so great ones. We will find ourselves getting out of the wrong side of the bed, even if we really want to be on the sunny side of it all. Sometimes we just have to accept that we are faced with less than ideal situations and feelings that can hijack our thought processes and therefore our behaviours and choices. What matters is being consistent in your practice and accepting that everyday the practice will be different. It’s not always going to be enlightening or uplifting. Some days it will involve you going against the tides of your internal thoughts and the physical discomforts that arise. Some days you have to choose what matters more, dedication or accuracy. You choose, you always have a choice.
This morning I was very angry, some of it is due to my hormones fluctuating but a major contributing factor is my lack of sleep this past week. What I have to realise is that the lack of sleep is the outcome of decisions that I made in the moment that felt good but weren’t good for me. But, I’ve made those choices and as a result of that I woke up grumpy and annoyed this morning. Usually this would ruin my day, but today I chose to pay attention to them and take the control away from the mood and into my rational brain. So, I listened to my body and instead of powering through I decided to take a nap.
Now that I’ve had a little bit more sleep I have more cognitive energy to tackle the inner critic that is trying to put me down for the choices, the time I’ve wasted and the things that I’ve not ‘achieved’ as a result of this. But this critic is not the voice that I want to listen to and since starting the Positive Intelligence course a few weeks ago, I’m starting to get more and more aware of it when it strikes and tries to put me down. It’s horrible and it’s not welcome, it doesn’t serve me and with practice I will weaken it’s grip on me.
Today I’m going to proceed with the new habits that I’m trying to form, despite the resistance I’m feeling internally and the discomfort that comes with change. I’m going to put my energy into better understanding myself instead of judging myself as I proceed to get on the yoga mat, meditate and pray. I’m not going to expect perfection, I’m just going to focus on forming habits that are going to eventually pay off.
Nothing comes without effort and changes like these are not easy.
I have to trust that the agitation and the irritation will ease, and that at the end of it I will be proud that I stuck to my choices and ignored the narratives that want to put me down even further.
I’m going to make more observations and I’m going to remain curious with the discomfort.
Time to get on the yoga mat.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 