I am stuck in a self-sabotaging loop as I’m not making choices that are aligned with my needs and values. Because of certain external circumstances I’ve made some not so healthy choices that felt good in the moment but have now become downfalls of my overall well being and health. I’ve found myself in a loop that is resulting in more agitation and frustration every day. The choices I’ve made has resulted in lack of sleep, lack of self care, lack of routine, lack of exercise, lack of reflection, lack of relaxation, excessive hours of work, excessive eating etc. All the effort I had put in and the progress I had made over the past few months feels foreign to me now as I’m left disappointed that I’ve now regressed!
I can punish myself and or give into this cycle, getting deeper and deeper into the web of disappointment and self-criticism. That would be the easiest and most familiar thing to do, but it would also be the least beneficial and most harmful option. Or, I can make an attempt at making progress little by little again, after all that’s how it all started!
It’s so easy to fall into habits that are unhealthy but familiar to us. It’s so easy to be your own worst critic and judge. It’s much harder stopping the loop that is unhelpful and stepping into a space where you are loving yourself and are letting go of the frustrations. This is my personal experience anyway and I’m sure there are others who can resonate with this.
It’s Sunday evening and I have a choice ahead of me, I can either progress further into the hole that is pulling me away from what I need, or I can find a way to slowly but surely get back up. Nothing external to me can help me feel better if internally I’m not in a place that is aligned with my values and needs. So, here I am blogging because it’s important to me. After this, I’m determined to type up the coaching notes I was due to send out a couple of weeks ago and share them with the practice client of mine. That has been weighing heavily on my mind!
These are the steps that I can and will take, because doing these two things is better than not doing anything at all. Progress is all that matters. If I can improve my sleep this week I will be over the moon. To do that, I need to maintain healthy boundaries with work so that I don’t exhaust myself emotionally. I need to stay focused on my personal goals and to maintain a healthy relationship with how I view my career and my role.
I have enough unhealthy experiences to know what hasn’t served me in the past and to know what I need to prevent myself from falling into a dark space. I need to remember that the quality of my life is directly associated with the time I dedicate to caring for myself. On top of that, the way I show up with others is a mirror of how I show up for myself. When I’m kind and gentle with me, I am kinder and more compassionate towards others. But when I get into the self-critical loop, I become critical of those around me and I don’t like that version of me.
We need to take care of ourselves if we want to live a positive mark on others.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 