I feel the stress, it’s rising in my stomach and slowly making it’s way through my lungs and neck, into my face. The anxiety of another day full of demands and work pressures. Doing a job that from one aspect is helping me grow and realise so many of my aspirations and another element is causing me to regress into the unhappy state that I was trying so hard to get out of.
What is it that is driving my choices? What can I let go of? What is it that I need in this moment in order to be in joy and bliss?
These are the type of questions we can ask ourselves in order to really reflect on what we need and how we can resource ourselves with it. I need time and practice, doing my yoga and having a nice warm drink whilst writing in my journal. I want to meditate and let go of my thoughts, so that I can clear my mind. All of the daily stressors we put on ourselves is pure non-sense. So why engage in it? Habit I suppose, one that has been formed and engrained in me personally.
I am not starting from a relaxed base line, I’m starting from a high level of stress; one that has a long history attached to it. Therefore, it’s not realistic to expect that I can brush things off and or that I can just be calm. That would be pretending to be something that I am not at the moment. Knowing where my baseline is, I can look for ways to help improve it so that I can have a more steadier baseline that isn’t rocked easily.
So, what does it come back to? Not the external world, rather the internal dialogue that we tell ourselves. This is a journey and I have to constantly remind myself of that. I have to remember that being kind to yourself isn’t something you just master over night, rather its a lesson you have to learn through every single moment that life presents to you. Every single time you choose kindness you’re increasing the chances of you operating from that space more naturally and effortlessly. Like Dory says “just keep on swimming”.
So, I will breath in deeply and deliberately, I will find ways to take care of myself and my needs and I will slowly release the anxiety that is building up.
One step at a time.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 