Recently I’ve had a dear friend of mine ghost me. This is a friend that I considered to be like family, we had known each other for around 10 years and had been there through the highs and the lows. She is one of the few people that I thought would be there until the end of time and she is one of the few individuals that had an incredibly special place in my heart. I have tried numerous times over the past 6 months to reach out to her but radio silence is all I get.
At first I was worried that perhaps something had happened to her, but after realising that she’s ok and that she’s simply not responding to me, I felt heart broken and confused. We’ve not had a fight, no conflict or disagreements. We’ve not had any issues at all, not now or throughout the friendship. I’m not sure what has happened and or what the reason behind her ghosting me is but all I know is that it’s incredibly painful. It creates a million questions in my head and most painfully it creates a sense of despair and grief for losing a friend that was so dear.
In speaking to a couple of my other dear friends about this matter I’ve been asked why I’m so upset and why I can’t just let her go and move on. I take friendships really seriously in that they become apart of me and form special bonds and connections in my heart that are sacred to me. So losing a friend without any reason, without any response or closure is incredibly hurtful. I don’t want to let her go because I feel like doing so would mean blowing out a candle of light in my heart. But I also can’t hold onto her as it’s making me feel incredibly blue and sad.
I am not sure what happened, I don’t know if she will ever respond and or if I will ever get the chance to talk to her again. All I can do is pray for peace for myself and pray for love and safety for her. All I can do is accept. It’s so hard, to accept that which you really don’t want. I guess if it was easy then it wouldn’t be called a ‘practice’ and that we would all be a lot more enlightened than what we are.
Life has a cruel way of teaching us lessons that we are not keen on learning. If you resist them, they will make you suffer. If you surrender, they will show you that you are stronger than you realise. The choice is ours.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 