I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, trying to juggle the various balls in my life. There is a part of me that loves it and wouldn’t want it any other way, but another part of me that knows that if I keep going down this track I’m going to fall deep into a state of burnout and depression. I have come to realise that the reason why I can’t seem to stop and pause is because I’m disconnected from my body.
This is not unusual for individuals who have been through trauma, it’s a coping mechanism that is intended to protect you but it simultaneously also shuts you off from bodily pleasures and picking up on your needs. I used to think there was something wrong with me until I started reading the book ‘The body keeps score’. I want to understand how this magnificent and intelligent body operates and what I can do to help it heal and flourish into its best form.
Whilst I wish that I could feel my body, this disconnect has allowed me become curious about ‘who am I’ beyond the physical constraints of my body. Whilst that is a gift, I am ready now to expand my Soul Journey to a new dimension that also incorporates the body and all it’s wonders.
I remember there was a time when I walked out of a massage feeling relaxed and it dawned on me, that I never feel that way not even slightly! That’s when I realised that my body carries a lot of tension and pain on a day to day basis. Some of it is due to bad habits such as limited exercise, sitting down too much and very poor posture. But some of it is because I suppress so many feelings and sensitivities as a result of wanting to fit in and being ‘normal’. These all bottle up and manifest themselves in discomforts and pain, unfortunately my body has become so accustomed to this way of being that I don’t even notice it anymore. Unless of course I get a massage and feel fully relaxed and then I’m reminded again that I really need to do something about this because that’s not the quality of life I want to settle for.
It’s hard knowing where to start, so I’ve started in all the obvious places like yoga, meditation and exercise. Most recently I started to train my body to take cold showers. It’s only been 11 days but I already notice the difference, both mentally and physically. It’s opened my eyes to how resilient and adaptable the human body is.
Our bodies are an organism full of sophisticated programming, they’re complex and require a lot of care and attention. Knowing how to truly take care of our bodies requires knowledge, expertise and practice. It’s an area that I’m personally trying to learn more about and become more active in. I know that I have a lot of rewiring to do in order to feel safe in my body again. In order to feel my body neck down and not walk through life as a head stuck in its own thoughts. I don’t want to just feel connected to my body when it’s sick or in pain, I want to feel my body experience sensations and pleasures. I want to be sensitive to its signals for rest and nourishment. I want to get to know my body, to love my body and to celebrate her.
Do you feel connected to your body? Do you celebrate it for all that it does for you? Take a pause and try and feel your body, what happens?
Stay curious, stay open and take care of yourself.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 