I am grateful to the friends who are able to provide perspective; for me it’s really healing because it allows me to get unstuck and to let go of the thoughts that are not serving me. Talking to a dear friend of mine today helped me realise that when it comes to developing self-assurance internally, it’s important to be clear that my self-worth is defined by me and what I choose to accept around me. In other words, if there are relationships and or environments around me that aren’t enhancing me and or reciprocating what I’m putting out in the world, then the question that I need to ask is not ‘what’s wrong with me’ but rather ‘is this person, environment or situation aligned to me on my journey’.
This doesn’t diminish the value of the relationships or the person, rather it provides the space necessary to adjust your expectations, boundaries, values and also commitments. I need to get better at reminding myself that not everyone is able to show up the way I need them to, largely because they too are going through their own sacred and challenging Soul Journey and not because I don’t matter and or they don’t care for me.
I have realised that being loyal shouldn’t cost me my sense of joy and being loved. When you get hurt by others you have two choices, either to evaluate and adjust your expectations of the relationship OR choose to let go of them. Holding onto people who you have out grown or who are unable to appreciate you doesn’t serve you. Goodbyes have inherently been hard for me, I try to hold onto relationships irrespective of the impact they have on my life. It’s hard to remember that with every hello, there will eventually be a goodbye. But I’m recognising that letting go is a healthy way of going through life, because not everything is meant to last.This idea that you can maintain status quo is such a false perception of reality; there is nothing more constant in life than the changes that are taking place around us all the time.
Everyone has their own Soul Journey and so as part of that they will have their own ups and downs. Respecting how others show up at any point is the only way that I can create a boundary between myself and them. When hurt comes through, I need to not judge myself or them rather I need remind myself that we are not there to define each other. Relationships serve a purpose and when you get comfortable in the relationship you can forget that you have the ability to meet most of your needs and so it’s important not to get dependent on others.
I can only be who I am and put out there the energy, intentions and behaviours that are aligned to my values and way of being in the world. I have get better at trusting that people will inevitably come in and out of our lives and that doesn’t define our worth and or importance. Learning to stay grounded in my own sense of worth and importance is going to be critical for being able to love myself through changes and loss. Being aware that letting of relationships is sometimes the best way you can honour and love someone else is a perspective that I need to get used to.
Life is too short to be walking through it with pain and self-doubt, instead, find the beauty you want around you and pursue that. Be kind to yourself and others; trusting that those who are meant to be a part of your journey will always find their way back in.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 