My Response…

Freedom lies beyond the walls of taking responsibility for things which we can’t control. It’s a fine line between being loving and supportive of others and completely abandoning yourself and your sense of worth. I am trying to find the right boundary that will allow me let go of having to please others. I am done prioritising everyone else’s views and feelings above my own.

I can’t control how others choose to react and what decisions they make. I can only try my best to influence or inspire them, but they’re in control of what they choose to do. Taking responsibility for others is exhausting and it doesn’t lead to anything positive. As a child I was taught to drown my own emotions so that I wouldn’t upset those around me. I was taught to take care of others even though I didn’t feel safe around them. I was taught that if someone is ‘sick’ then it’s ok for them to behave badly.

These lessons have become narratives that convinced me that I’m somehow responsible for how others treat me. I’ve taken on their poor behaviours and flipped it on myself for thinking there is something I’ve done wrong, or I need to change. This is where all the unkind thoughts stem from. But I’m done with taking responsibility for things that I cannot control.

I’m no longer going to blame myself for peoples poor behaviours. I’m going to show up in the world with my truth, love, kindness and understanding and if others want to abuse that then I will simply set boundaries to protect my light and let go of the need to have to please them or convince them of my worth.

Free yourself from this notion that somehow you are responsible for how others treat you. You are responsible for you and how you choose to be in the world. Choose to be kind and good towards yourself and others. Here is a brief poetry slam:

My Response:

Don’t put your pain on me.

I’m not responsible for what you choose to feel or experience in your life.

I’m not responsible for your reactions, emotions and behaviours.

You, you are responsible for yourself.

You are responsible for your life.

You are not a child, you are not dependent on me.

I am not responsible for you.

I, I’m responsible for me. For my reactions, behaviours and feelings.

I am responsible for growing and healing myself.

I am responsible for my choices.

I am responsible for being a version of me that will inspire you to be a better version of you.

But I am not responsible for that outcome.

I am responsible for my beating heart and creative mind.

I am responsible for my truth, my story and what I choose to be.

I am responsible to the planet, to the dreams I want to create, to being good and kind.

I do not have to suffer because you refuse to take responsiblity for yourself.

Your justifications are no longer my captives. Your poor behaviours are no longer the chains that hold me back.

If you want to be loved, then love yourself. Be the type of person that thinks good, speaks good and feels good.

Don’t expect me to come and save you from yourself. I am not here to fix you.

I am here to love you, to support you and to be understanding.

But that will no longer come at a cost of abandoning my body and my heart.

I will no longer shy away from doing what is good for me, even if it means disappointing you.

I am not going to stay and tolerate the screams, the anger, the rage that you put me through.

I am walking away from anything that harms my soul, my mind, my body and my joy.

I am responsible for me, I get to choose how I feel and how I want to be in the world.

I will put my energy into fostering a sense of Self that is like a garden full of flowers and not weeds.

You, you go decide what you want to do because you are responsible for you.

Love Always,

M