This year has been full on! So many changes, so many realisations and so much uncertainty. There have been many positive stressors and also many upsetting ones, but then again where is this distinction coming from? It’s from the way these experiences are perceived socially. Have you noticed that we tend to define our lives based on the experiences we have? Social media has definitely exacerbated this with this obsession of perfection, in all avenues of our lives including our bodies, careers, relationships, trips, food etc. We go around labelling our day to day experiences based on what events take place in our lives. This is so dangerous and it’s also distracting us from what really matters which is to actually live.
As I reflect back on the past 6 months I don’t want to view it as hard, bad or upsetting, I want to view it as challenging, growth-worthy, evolutionary, expansive and valuable. When we are faced with challenges, uncertainties and changes it’s difficult there is no denying that. But we identify with these experiences in an unhealthy way which only makes everything feel so much heavier than it has to be. This isn’t to dismiss the hardships, rather it’s about remembering not to reduce ourselves to what we are experiencing. When I was in it, I definitely forgot to maintain my perspective but now that I have come out of it I can clearly see that I am still building my tools for going through life with a lens of curiosity and observation rather than fear and identification.
I’ve had my fair share of really difficult times and if there is anything it has taught me is that worrying about it and being sad about it doesn’t change it. I definitely believe that to a certain degree worry and sadness are inevitable and it’s important to honour them when they visit. But where the shift has taken place is around the stories I attach to them and what they represent to me. I used to identify with them, not being able to differentiate myself from the experiences, I used to surrender to them thinking they had all the power, I used to get tangled up with them feeling entrapped and at times taken hostage. But through lots of work and introspection I recognise that sitting with them when they visit doesn’t mean you don’t feel them but that you understand they’re a part of life and that you can find tools to help you through these experiences.
What I’ve come to appreciate is the power of philosophy, therapy, spirituality and what they each teach. They give you tools such as introspection, knowledge, perspectives as well as practical tools such as faith, trust, prayer, meditation, journalling etc. The more you practice the more you realise how we have all been misinformed about what the experience of life is. How we have all fallen into the distractions of modern day living and how we’ve become addicted to the superficial highs of this world. If I look deeply I can see that I’ve been addicted to things like validation, progress, achievements, success and belonging. All of these things standalone don’t have to be unhealthy, but when you identify with them they’re all dangerous.
So what does it mean to identify with these things? It means to attach yourself to them. It means you define yourself by the external and not the internal. There is nothing wrong with choosing to interact with this material world, what is important is our motivations underneath and what narratives we are telling ourselves. Are we chasing these things out of expansiveness or out of desperation? It’s so easy to get sucked into this world that is like a rabbit hole that takes you further and further away from your own values.
So I want to rewrite my own narrative. This year has been full on and I’m grateful for every lesson it has taught me, for the humility it has given me and for the opportunities it has provided for me to further evolve on my Soul Journey.
Don’t fall for the lies in your own beliefs. Seek truth and surrender to joy.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 