What am I committed to? I don’t really know the answer to that because sometimes I find myself floating in life; directionless, without clarity and or the fire that I had in my belly.
I can’t tell if it’s ageing, hormones and or the impacts of years of mental health struggles that have caused burn out. Perhaps a combination of all of these, but I can’t seem to focus my thoughts, time, energy and efforts towards any one that I am committed to.
What does it even mean to be committed? I don’t even know if I can answer that question now.
Am I committed to me?
Am I committed to others?
Am I committed to any goal?
What is the path that I’m taking and where will it lead?
As I write this up I feel that I am committed to one thing, which is thought. I am committed to the wonder and the thinking, the analysis and the insight, the pondering and the examining of life. But surely life is not about being committed to an abstract dimension of thought? What is the experience of being human vs the experience of being oneself?
Who am I and who are you? Are we one of the same?
These types of existential questions are useful if they’re not obsessed over because we will never know the answer to them. So then what? Breath. Living. Being here. Letting go of the thought by embracing the movement.
What can I commit myself to? Curiosity for now. Observation. Acceptance. Being.
All viable options.
This is a topic that I shall return to the more I sit with it.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 