Choose what feels most lightest. We are told what to do our whole lives, so I wonder if we choose what feels sweet, warm and light, will we always feel fulfilled?
I can’t choose what feels light, I am too tied up with these chains that are piercing into my being. I have fought against these chains for so long that I am covered in scars I can’t seem to heal. Perhaps the chains are there because moving forward is not the lightest choice. Perhaps these chains are trying to give me the space and time I need to feel the ground beneath my toes.
Resisting the chains is breaking my heart, bruising my limbs and bringing tears down my face. Perhaps by being still and noticing the chains I can find some peace.
What are these chains made from? As I examine them closely I can see, they’re not made from iron, copper or steel. These chains are far more impenetrable than any material nature can produce, these chains are made by my:
Heartache
Loss
Loneliness
Disconnect
Boredom
Distance
Dependence
Isolation
Brain fog
Disappointment
Responsibility
Privilege
Striving
Unhealthy Gratitude
Fears
Guilt
Shame
In this stillness I can see, that the chains were made by me. I threw away the key because I didn’t want to allow myself to be free. I wanted to become a martyr, so that there would be some form of legacy. Some form of praise for my sacrifice. I wanted the chains to make me feel important. I am tied up because I have chosen scarcity over expansion, fear over faith, smallness over greatness, and achievement over joy.
I wanted to earn the love and respect of those around me but they’re too tied up in their own chains. Their own sort of pain and loss. So what now?
I may have thrown away the key, but I didn’t lock the chains before I did. I just forgot that I can open them. All I need to do is to remember who I am.
Am I ready for this?
Am I ready to release myself from my own doing?
Will I be able to move on without my chains?
Who am I if not the chains I bind myself with?
Who am I if not the girl who resists captivity?
Who am I, if not the hero of my own stories?
Who am I?
This is the question that will define my freedom.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 