A state of confusion is a frustrating place to be. Having so many questions and very few answers. The need to know and not being able to find out. The push to control and realising that letting go is what you are most afraid of.
It’s funny, being human. It has great moments and some really perplexing and difficult ones. Every single one of us experiences life differently and all of us are transforming on our own Soul Journey’s. Sometimes, you can really feel the heaviness of it all, the difficult challenges start weighing up on you and the self doubt starts creeping in. That’s when things can get dangerous, our inner critics can be one of the cruelest voices in our lives.
But there is always a choice, there is a moments opportunity to decide how you want to show up in your life and in this world. We have the choice of letting those narratives dictate the story of our lives or we can choose to replace them with narratives that are kind, loving and compassionate.
Accepting that each day will come with it’s own set of emotions, thoughts and experiences is the first step of practicing self-compassion. No two experiences are the same, life is not a science lab. The moment the slightest variable changes, you are in a new experience and therefore, to expect yourself to be able to handle all situations with the consistency that you desire is a bit unrealistic. It’s not about always getting it right, it’s about being aware that you need to practice self-compassion as much as possible.
I know for myself, I struggle with extending the kindness to myself on a consistent basis. What I’ve come to notice is that every time I realise that, I punish myself because I ‘know better’. When different versions of me show up in the world that I don’t want to be like, I her for existing. That is unkind, because all parts of me exist due to the experiences I’ve had. They’ve not all been moulded deliberately and or through my choice, as a lot of them have been shaped as part of my childhood experiences. Whatever version of yourself that shows up as a result of your life, you have to remember that they all equally deserve your love and compassion.
If you’re only kind to the best parts of you, then you’re not really practicing self-love and or compassion. You’re just creating more of a gap between the admirable version and the version that you may have labelled a million cruel things.
So, where does that leave us? Practice. Daily practice of showing up for ourselves with an open heart and a non-judgemental mind. Knowing that however we behave and show up, there will be less than ideal versions of us that require our love and compassion the most.
Beating yourself up and telling yourself that you aren’t good enough, that you should’ve done things differently, reacted differently and or criticising yourself, none of these narratives will help you rise. These will pull you to the depths of the ocean where you’re sinking in the darkness and the cold waters.
See the vibrant colours in you and share them around with all the parts of you that need your love. Be kind to yourself even when it’s really hard, because that’s when you need kindness the most.
Love yourself.
Love Always,
M
Souloom™ 